Letting Go by Maria Fokas
We all imagine a journey we want to take; one made up of dreams. But at times in the darkness of failure we forget the point, at least I did today. I wanted to spend the day doing nothing. I wanted to see no one. The phone kept ringing and I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to let anyone in. It was going to be a great day where I would get drunk, and empty my mind of anything remotely connected to dreams.
I planned it out perfectly. No one was going to ruin this day with their presence. I shut the blinds, locked the doors and made myself a pot of coffee. I poured myself a cup; drank it as black as could be and then . . .
He messaged me and asked “what happened?” and I began to cry. I knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t going to let me hide in the darkness alone. I had it all planned out so well; to spend my day where no one could touch me but I forgot about my friend.
I said “bad news”, and from a distance of about 2000 miles he held me tight. He did not let go until he was certain my smile was genuine and my laugh was real again.
I spent my darkness with a friend today and it was one of the happiest days of my life. Not just because he was there on a bad day . . . and not just because he cared but because he proved me wrong. I pretended to be ok; I said I don’t need to discuss it. I smiled and told him that I’m tough and will get over it. I said that I wanted to be left alone.
It was a beautiful day because he was there . . . because he didn’t believe me; because he held on long enough to take the pain away. And for that I love him. Thank you M.H. for being there,
in my dark moment.
© 2013 Maria Fokas /Letting Go