friendship

My share of losing


By Elizabeth Lisa

                        [Painting by Elizabeth Lisa]

My Share of Losing 

If I suggest an answer to your everything,

You might praise me more than I deserve.

I may impress you for a little while,

Then, it will be gone;

And still, a mystery.

If I contaminate your thoughts with my tendencies,

I may haze an aching soul determined to escape;

Despite the welcome, in a glance of faith.

But if my hope gives way to your world,

It may come as a stranger in hesitating steps.

I have lost many things disguised in words.

Oh, but what I have won; Once upon a time –

So tonight, I dance beneath the midnight sky,

To celebrate my sweet defeat;

My share . . .

With no regrets.

 

 

“Forbidden Friendship”


frame paint

Forbidden Friendship

Forbidden Friendship

Which starts with enchantment –

Which belongs to no one,

Which devours its expectations

Which feels unique at first glance

Which abides by no rules

Which traps itself in passion

Which begins to fear its existence

Which shares a weakness to stray

Which keeps secrets from itself

Which lies beneath the sins of a broken heart

Forbidden friendship; which is deadly to the touch

 

© Artist Credits Unknown

Metis


Metis 

On blossomed branches,
Hummingbirds rest in the scented shade.
The soil is moist beneath my feet;
What an odd place to find myself –
No recollection of my treading here.
Though it is a time for mourning, neither cries, nor tears to proclaim.

A traveler has much ground to cover, and many regrets to misplace.
I should have stayed with my first certainty:
With no expectations, I would have been spared –
As mountain-tops squander their flawless spring waters,
Lovers ignore the passing of Time.

And with my end so near, I could have shared some truths;
Had it not been for my forgetfulness, to save me from my youth;
But I have always found comfort in soaring above the clouds.

© Maria Fokas/ March 4, 2016/All Rights Reserved

I Know a Cat


my cat

I know a Cat by Martin Hanley
Dedicated to my old philosophical friend, Master Mouse Hanley

I sat there sweltering in a familiar fog; constipated with checking and weighted outcomes.
Languid landscapes with questioning answers; an unfocused portfolio has come undone.
Then, in he glides supreme; stretching out beneath the dappled light; now reclining.
Regally basking like some ancient achromatic shadow; he swallows the fallow sun.

Cold blooded catering alerted, a distant ringing or some obscure Sylvan echo, yet I hear none.
Starving for hidden treats that well versed others commonly disdain; he remains steadfast smiling. Forever glancing, my philosophical companion hops past the news feed;

What happened to Fat Freddy the rioter’s son? Lurking behind me, telepathic with emerald eyes deeply penetrating; he treads a seamless blurred line.Tail stepping out an endless rhythm, my straying little hunter retreats, licking his cultured paw as fortunate birds flutter beyond the treble glazing.

I know a Cat © all rights reserved Martin Hanley May 9 th 2015 – Photograph by Martin Hanley

 

 

Into the Cold


Now I am UnderInto the Cold by Maria Fokas

This constant thought that there must be someone better out there could be as fraudulent as cotton candy. 

The younger you are the more overwhelmingly fluffy and beautifully pinkish it seems at first sight. You become intrigued with  both hue and feel; stickiness I mean. Once you taste it, you want more. You don’t care that you’ve got your hands clammy until you get your tummy full. Then you look around searching for someone to help you get rid of it.

What if the idea of better had to do more with coming across someone who respects your weaknesses and admires your darkness? And what  if you didn’t have to search the whole world to find that person; but it just happened by chance when you were least expecting it.

In the beginning it was a rush, like a sweet sin you wanted to succumb to; a deep ocean of emotions so intense you gave into it, and promised each other eternity – But along the way you began to question your happiness – and fell into the trap; you are driven to feel reluctant to believe that this could be possible. Maybe that automatic thinking we all hate to listen to but eventually become convinced by its superficial plausibility, rooted in the idea that only fairy-tales have happy endings. The voice which says – you can’t possibly be so lucky – yes, that voice which specializes in planting doubts. And so you decide to just cross that person out, or  jot the experience down to a mere coincidence of myth . . .because god forbid if it ever were the real thing and we did something stupid to lose it, how would we ever forgive ourselves?

And you become cold again.

flame of WanderYou take a break for a while and eventually when boredom kicks in,  you go seeking for that someone better out there again.  And when a haunting recollection instinctively visits you; a reminder of  how good it was with that one person you had crossed out,  you tell yourself that true happiness cannot be acquired so easily, hell you’ve been contaminated with this thought even before you were born –

No! What you had experienced was too good to be true – not the real thing at all; echoes in the silence of your head – and eventually you succumb to the rationality of your fears. You trigger your self-fulfilling prophecy and ultimately give permission to yourself to drift and fade, and then it is finally over . . .

Burning FireYears later, you may wonder whether you were wrong –

Would you say, oh hell . . . life is funny sometimes, let’s go get some cotton candy . . .the sticky pinkish kind, everyone adores – or would you go back in time searching for that person knowing you will never find them –

 . . .

 

If only he had known that she loved him more than she needed her freedom, things would have worked out.

When he felt comfortable enough to open up to her, he said –

“When we first met, I thought you were easy.”

 And she replied,

“Yes, and I thought you were difficult.” 

But they were both wrong.

 

Somewhere to Begin


If there ever was a song which simply and completely whispered our story to the world – it would have to be this one –

Dedicated to the man who came into my life unexpectedly and changed my world forever. . .

Somewhere to Begin by Maria Fokas 

I will love your ways  –

But at times,

I will be difficult and selfish in my need for your presence –

I will upset you and drive you mad sometimes –

There will be days I won’t understand you –

And there will be days you won’t understand me –

You may question my motives on occasion –

And at times I will have to endure your walls –

I won’t always function as you’d like me to –

But I will not abandon you –

I will be there when you truly need me –

To listen to your sincere explanations for doubting me –

I will accept your rage when you want to express it–

I will bear your craziness and never question the way you choose to love me –

When you want to restore harmony I will stand by your side  –

And when you need to destroy it I will help you –

But if we come to the end of our road I will say goodbye only if you ask me to . . .

I will do all this because I love you, and not because I need you . . .

When I look into your eyes I see a generous man who protects my desires, who takes care of my dreams, and who is there for me when I need a friend and have no words to utter my pain –

Yes, this is the place I’ve been dreaming of . . .

  © 2014 Maria Fokas

Letting Go


Holding on & Letting go

Holding on & Letting go

Letting Go by Maria Fokas

We all imagine a journey we want to take; one made up of  dreams. But at times in the darkness of failure we forget the point, at least I did today. I wanted to spend the day doing nothing. I wanted to see no one. The phone kept ringing and I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to let anyone in. It was going to be a great day where I would get drunk, and empty my mind of anything remotely connected to dreams.

I planned it out perfectly. No one was going to ruin this day with their presence. I shut the blinds, locked the doors and made myself a pot of coffee. I poured myself a cup; drank it as black as could be and then . . .

He messaged me and asked “what happened?” and I began to cry. I knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t going to let me hide in the darkness alone. I had it all planned out so well; to spend my day where no one could touch me but I forgot about my friend.

I said “bad news”, and from a distance of about 2000 miles he held me tight. He did not let go until he was certain my smile was genuine and my laugh was real again.

I spent my darkness with a friend today and it was one of the happiest days of my life. Not just because he was there on a bad day . . . and not just because he cared but because he proved me wrong. I pretended to be ok; I said I don’t need to discuss it. I smiled and told him that I’m tough and will get over it. I said that I wanted to be left alone.

It was a beautiful day because he was there . . . because he didn’t believe me; because he held on long enough to take the pain away. And for that I love him. Thank you M.H. for being there,

in my dark moment.